When I wrote my post of my ONE WORD and how it chose me, I wasn't thrilled about the word. And if you think you are going to read this post and get to the end to only realize I have fallen in love with my word.......well you should stop reading.
I still don't like my word. It's not an easy word. I was worried it would force me to do things I wouldn't normally do. Therefore making me uncomfortable in my very comfy world but it has had the opposite effect on me this month. It has become apparent to me that acting with courage not only encompasses doing hard things and embracing things that we would normally fear. But instead; courage can be taking out things that may be important to us, taking out the things that we know hold value in our life. Sometimes, courage can be knowing when it's okay to abandon our original plan.
So with that being said, I have quit something that is important to me. A year and a half ago, when I quit my job I had just ended the busiest year of my life. Over involved, overextended, and I was over it all. God had asked me to simplify. I removed almost everything "extra" from our lives. I think the only activity my kids may have done was AWANAS and I said no to a lot of things. I try to be careful what I commit to and what I allow my kids to become committed to. Whenever I added something new to our schedule or life it was after prayer and careful consideration. And this year, I have been able to say yes to many things. And it has been wonderful. But it is just in my nature to overextend, to want to do more and when I do that he kindly reminds me (usually through my health) that I need to do a recheck of the simplicity in my life.
I volunteer for CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). Children who are assigned a CASA are either in foster homes, are back home but are returning home from a foster home, or are in group homes, etc. I have a heart for advocating for children. Seriously, if my husband let me I'd have a houseful of children who don't have a home they can call their own. I think it's important to be a voice for children who are not able to have a voice of their own. When you sign up to take a CASA case, you are supposed to be committed to the case for 18 months. I've never taken a case that lasts that long. However, they often do take that long or longer. I was assigned to be a Co Casa to a case in September and it was expected to dismiss in November. The case didn't dismiss. And right after this I lost the baby, we had company, and it was the holidays. I was having a really hard time fitting in any visits or doing any of the things I should be doing as a responsible CASA.
When it was mid January and I realized I still had some gifts from the CASA office to give away that I hadn't been able to deliver, I realized maybe it was time to resign from my case. But I'm stubborn and the last thing I want to be called is a quitter. I HATE not being able to finish what I start and I also like knowing that at least some part of my life was being spent giving back to the community. I also couldn't imagine quitting because I felt like I had been called to give back in this particular way. Without getting into all the details, I continued to try and make the time to keep the case. Circumstance after circumstance made it clear that I just was not going to be able to provide what was needed to the case right now. At this time, I need to focus my attention on something new that our family needs and my husband works almost an additional 15-20 more hours than he used to. It took a long time to send my resignation email but after I sent it I felt relieved. And I didn't realize it at the time but it took a lot of courage for me to quit. I know it seems odd that quitting can involve courage but for me it was more courageous to quit because I equated quitting with failing or giving up. When in reality, quitting was just what was needed at the time in order to keep my life in balance.
SHOULD WE EVER MAKE IT OKAY FOR OUR KIDS TO QUIT?
I think it's acceptable to teach my children that sometimes quitting is not the same as giving up. And although I don't want to raise a bunch of "quitters", I want the boys to know that sometimes quitting IS the best answer. Sometimes quitting might mean "not now" or "it's not for me after all". This was proven true right after Christmas for my oldest son. He has been super involved this year; basketball, oral language, spelling bee, running for office, band, and choir. He had been learning to play the trumpet since the beginning of the school year. He had a bumpy start with his brother accidentally smashing his instrument (a whole other story) along with some technical problems. But he stuck it out, he went to class each week, and for a few weeks he even went without an instrument and he also participated in the winter concert. However, he never practiced at home and he didn't seem to enjoy it. Two of his grades dropped this quarter, not bad but he was upset they weren't A's anymore. And finally I said to him, " You know you can quit. You tried it for awhile and if you don't really enjoy it, it's okay." He didn't say yes right away but when it was time for him to go back to band class, he told his teacher that He was going to quit because he didn't really like it anymore and that he was glad he tried it.
I want them to know they can try new things but if they want to quit it is okay. If they decide to quit something I hope to instill in them that they are still good enough, quitting isn't always the same as giving up, and quitting doesn't make you a failure. Of course, there are times when we need to encourage them to see things all the way through. But as a parent it is my job to decipher when to encourage them to get to the finish line and when it's okay to throw in the towel. And I guess as a grown up, it's my job to practice what I teach. Now, I have a feeling my son will not be playing the trumpet again. However, I am hoping that I will be able to take another CASA case again. So for him I think it was more of a case of "it's not for me" but for mom I'm hoping it was more of a case of "not at this time".
And now I need to go make arrangements with my Co CASA to give her the gifts that are STILL in my car......
Sharing With:
No comments:
Post a Comment