Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Sibling Rivalry.....Frenemies Full Force

I have birthed three very different children. I think the only thing they have in common is the fact that they are boys. Between the three, you'd think at least some of their character traits would overlap but they really don't. One is a complete introvert, another an extreme extrovert, and the oldest a mixture of both. And I love that they are so different! However, although I love their differences, they haven't quite learned how to love each other's differences.

If you don't have boys, there is something you should know about boys. They are very competitive! So when you have three boys and no girls to break up the mix and they all have very different personalities, you can get a lot of conflict. And by the way, when I say competitive I mean about everything. They race to see who gets dressed first, whose in their car seat first, who finishes their chores first, who is behaving best in the car, who is being nicer, .......and the list goes on. I can not lie, it's exhausting. Because they are so different, they play with their toys differently. One of them is very careful to keep his things in order, he keeps the pieces together, and sometimes even likes to save the packages. The other one loses everything and doesn't care much for any material items and therefore doesn't take great care of them. And the last one, well he should be a toy tester because if it can get past him without breaking....it's a keeper!! So if someone touches another person's toy or plays with it incorrectly it can be an all out World War 3.

Now when they're not having conflicts, they can be found "getting along". Getting along at our house can sometimes look worse than the fighting. Seriously; they are wrestling, tackling each other, chasing each other around the house, or throwing the bean bags at each other. And boys are LOUD, so even if they're getting along it still sounds like they're having some sort of battle. Often crying and laughing alternating so quickly you can't tell if someone should be in time out or if you should be glad that they're finally "getting along".

See they're getting along, or are they?
And now I have to be honest and say this is one of those areas where I feel like I'm failing in the mom department. I know lots of families with multiple children who never complain about their children fighting. It doesn't even seem to be an issue. When you see them their kids are smiling, you don't see any of them fighting, and it seems as if they all get along.  They're all cohesive and everyone likes each other most of the time. If you run into me with all three of my children, you may hear one of them  yelling at the other or see the littlest one push down his older brother. Someone might tackle another for a toy or electronic device. Seriously, one of those things you just figure every one else has all together.

What our jar looked like early on.......
During the school year, the frenemies are more friends than enemies because they are not together as often. However, after a few weeks into summer I realized we needed to do something to encourage them to get along. So we are working on filling up a jar we have labeled "Brothers Love Brothers". When they are being kind or doing nice things for each other we put some of these little cotton balls into the container. They created a list of things they get to do once it's full. Now don't judge me.....I'm well aware that is just a hidden form of bribery. But sometimes a moms got to do what a moms got to do.........


What our jar looks like now.....they're getting there. A little bit of bribery works sometimes ;)


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Beach

The Beach
A place we used to call our home
A place where the kids love to roam
Sandy toes, shiny shells
Blue skies and Ocean swells
Could watch them all day building castles
Forgetting all life’s little hassles.

If only we had known it then,
Beach trips would have been more often.
From blue sky to sandy ground,
Peace and beauty all around.
If we knew then what we know now,
Spending more time there would be a vow.


We watched the cousins frolic all day.
Jumping in the surf, with no dismay.
Boogie boarding in the sea
Shouting always, BURY ME!
The very best part
was the memories they made,
Forever in their heart,
never, never up for trade.