Sunday, August 17, 2014

Hijacked Plans

Tomorrow school starts for the school district in our neighborhood. For the last 7 years we've walked at least one of our children down the street for their first day of school. And tomorrow the rest of the neighborhood will be walking their kiddos to school and ours will be at home. It's one of those moments where you realize just how much God has hijacked your own plans. My plan consisted of working from home while my children attended the school down the street. A year and a half later.....nothing is what I planned.

Last year, I brought our middle child to the school where I teach. I became his primary teacher at home while he attended school two days a week. Our school has been an incredible blessing both to him and our family. It is a relief to see him where he is comfortable and where his instruction can be individualized. Although as a homeschooling momma, I often struggle with concerns as to whether I am the best person for the job. But I am encouraged and allow myself grace, knowing that it is what God wants for our family.

And now this year, I am going to school my oldest son as he begins jr. high. I did not really want to school my son for 7th. grade. The material will be difficult, I already teach part time and school one of my other boys, and I have a baby at home. I feel completely ill equipped to teach jr. high. I attended a math training for what my son will be covering this year and I'm having a little bit of anxiety. I am finding comfort that he will be attending school 3 days a week so I will have some extra support. It took many months of praying over this decision and as I began to have clarity, I knew this was what was right for our family. I was nervous to deliver the news to our son but he has been a good sport and as we have moved closer and closer to our own school start date, it has become very clear that the decision we made was the right one. In my own personal experiences, I have found that if you truly pray for what God's will is instead of what you want to do than eventually the decision becomes crystal clear. And although homeschooling my oldest son wasn't something I really wanted to take on, I am getting really excited about being able to have some quality time with him before he grows up too fast. I am excited to find out how he learns and be able to support him and challenge him where needed. I am also praying for him to develop a strong spiritual foundation before he moves on into high school. I can't wait to find out what God has in store for us this year. In some ways I am sure that my boys will be the teachers and I will be the student. Praying God opens my eyes to what I am supposed to learn this school year. . I look forward to having the time in our day to spend together and learn from one another. And I am praying for grace, patience, and for me to use this time to be a positive role model for my children.

So I've only been talking about my two oldest boys. The other wrench in "my" plans was that I had planned on keeping my 4 year old at home and schooling him until he was in 1st. or 2nd. grade due to his severe food allergy. However, as we were making decision regarding schooling it also became clear that I am not Superwoman. And I know that God will give us strength for things he asks us to do. But I didn't feel like keeping my four year old home was something he was wanting me to do.  And so we enrolled our  4 year old into the Transitional Kindergarten at the school down the street. He loves school and he wants to learn so badly. Last year, he was constantly wanting to learn right alongside my first grader. But for many reasons that was actually difficult. However, without getting into too many details, he will not start school until Wednesday. He is missing some important signatures on paperwork that allows him to have needed medication.

So here I am getting ready to teach part time, homeschool 2 of my children, send my 4 year old to school with all the anxiety that brings, and all with a surprise baby on my hip. Like I said, God has completely hijacked my plans and where I thought I would be right now. But what a blessing. I have the opportunity to spend some quality time with my children, be their teacher, work a job that I love, send my little guy to school where he can teach others about allergy awareness (if he doesn't drive them too crazy), and enjoy my sweet baby when I'm home with the boys. Excited and nervous for our new journey!!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Summer Blues

I'm done with summer. Done. Ready for it to be over.

Most of my teacher friends and parents are probably cringing, they love summer and all that it brings.  Usually I love summer too and the kids and I fill it with fun packed crafts and activities and we take advantage of whatever activities we can find to do. But this summer just felt kind of .....blah.

And before I'm judged that I must be one of those moms who can't wait to send her kids off to school when school starts;  three of my children will be at home with me schooling.  So school will not bring me a break. But it will provide routine and productivity.....which I think I miss.

This summer has just made me tired.

Tired of late bedtimes.
I know I should cherish the extra time I have with my children, right? Okay but in the summer it is more difficult to get my kiddos down to bed. We're not sticklers on bedtime like we are during the school year. And then because the routine is different so many times a week, bedtime becomes this horrific event that takes place each night. One that takes way too long and doesn't leave anyone feeling peaceful by the time they fall into their not so deep slumber. 

Tired of the heat.
It's hot here. Like really hot. It is supposed to be cooler today.....only 100 degrees. Dragging babies in and out of car seats in 100 degree weather isn't fun for anyone. And telling the kids to go play outside.....they don't want to play outside and I cant' say I blame them. So I end up with a bunch of kids who are stir crazy and need to burn energy.

Tired of the video games.
I don't know how it happened but my little ones have become addicted to video games and electronics. It probably happened because we're having a really hot summer and mom needed some sanity. They only play one game and I don't even know if they know how to play another game. But I'll be glad to be busy in schoolwork with a lot less time for video games.

Tired of what didn't happen.
If you're a teacher or a parent you always have these great plans for summer. Because there's supposedly this free time that you're going to accomplish all of these things so you can get ahead in the year. Some of those things were completed but not anywhere near what I wanted to do. And this includes plans I had for my own children. Summer lessons and learning.....sigh. Didn't happen. Photo projects.....didn't happen.

Anyways, I may be one of the few, but I am looking forward to the routine of the schooyear. Even though it's already starting with a bumpy start. Considering my first day of work is today and I have no childcare for the baby. But it will work out. God answers prayer. A year ago, I was in the ER. No one even knew I was pregnant and I thought there was something wrong with the baby or that I was having an ectopic pregnancy. Those are supposedly common when you have only one working fallopian tube. God is faithful....all of the time.