Right now, I should be lesson planning or doing one of the other twenty things that is staring at me from my to do list. I should be doing something more productive than writing on my blog. But I can't because I feel like if I don't write something soon I may go a little crazy.
I haven't written about my One Word in a long time. But let me tell you, it is not because it hasn't been on my mind. At the beginning of the year, I wrote about how I felt like God had chosen my word and how I wish I could have chosen a word that was more fun or exciting or easier to live out. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that God doesn't make mistakes and he always knows what's best for us. He knew that having that word in front of me for the past five months would help to give me the strength that I would need. If you remember, it wasn't just the word but the verse Joshua 1:9 ; "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” And so it wasn't just the word "courage" that has been engraved in my heart but the part that says "do not be discouraged".
You see when God chose my word for me, he already knew that my husband would become sick with Valley Fever. He already knew that the illness would keep him out of work for four months causing not only healthy problems but financial difficulties as well. It was a constant reminder to be grateful and to not be discouraged during those months. And shortly after he returned, it also became clear that God had other plans for me as well. I had another plan for a job this school year. One that fit quite easily into my life and wouldn't require time out of the home. It was going to be easy and simple and something I knew I would be good at. I knew where my kids were going to go to school and my youngest would be at home with me where I felt he was safest due to his allergy. All was good, right?......God must just laugh at us when we think we have it all under control.
Anyways, I don't find it a coincidence that the month I would have given birth to our fourth baby is the same month that I was hired for a new job........one that I was not looking for. You see God knows all the details and we don't always understand them but when we are obedient to him and follow his will, we are blessed. My new job couldn't be a more perfect fit for me. I only have to teach 2 days a week, I am teaching a grade I am familiar with both in a homeschool environment & in the classroom, I will teach 1st. grade (the grade I taught when I left teaching) at home to my 6 yr. old, my school is less than 10 minutes from my house, and about 2 minutes from my son's preschool. The people I work with are amazing and I get to express my faith in the classroom. It is as if the perfect job has been created for me.
But all of this also means lots of changes. My life is not on the path that I thought it would be.
We have one son starting his last year of elementary school, another one leaving his school to attend my new school along w/3 homeschooling days, and our youngest attending a preschool which is not what we ever intended. And so in a span of the summer, I have taken on a new job, enrolled our 3 yr old in the safest preschool we could find while still having to advocate on his behalf, and I will be homeschooling. Oh, and by the way I am now a Juice Plus consultant which was just one more thing that I never intended to be because I hate selling stuff. It's as if my life has just been redirected in a whole other direction. And let me tell you, I am sure there is more change on the horizon.
So with all the new changes and rattled nerves because I haven't been a classroom teacher for 7 years......the only word that makes sense to help me move forward is "Courage". Courage to try new things, courage to fail and learn from my mistakes, courage to allow my son to be in the care of others, courage that I'll be able to effectively advocate for him, courage that I will be able to give my 1st. grader everything he needs academically, and the courage that I can balance our family's health including my own health struggles along with all the other new demands that will be placed on me. I will also need courage to start a new business I don't really have time for and courage to have faith in the new blessings God has provided for our family. You see courage has nothing to do with not being afraid, it's everything to do with having fear and moving forward anyways. If he is calling us to do things, we must not rely on our own understanding or our own abilities. He will equip us with all that we need if it is for his will. And so I am excited to start our new journey and am so grateful God gave me this word for this year. It couldn't have been more perfect.
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| The most perfect gift given by a friend. Will need to remember next week! |
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