Read or Don't Read......

I haven't written in forever...........this is due to a combination of MANY things such as an incredibly busy summer, everyday busy life with 3 very busy boys, etc.  And although there have been many things on my heart, I just haven't had the words to say what it is I want to say. I sat down to write a few times during the past month but the screen remained blank each time. So instead of writing on my blog, I wrote in my childrens' journal or went on to some mundane chore such as laundry or whatever else needed to be done around the house.

As this week went on, I just had an urgency to write something, anything. It was then that I realized part of my so called "writers block" was stemming from the fact that I would be writing something that I would allow others to read. For some reason, I was thinking of who would read it,what would they think and so forth. And then I realized it didn't really matter. Sometimes many people will read what I write and other times almost no one reads what I write.  But I started this blog as a way to slow down and pay attention to what is happening in my life and my family's lives. Hence, the title.....In Front of My Eyes. I chose to share my blog with people who could either relate or family because it is a great way for them to keep up as many of them live far away. Some family members find our lives entertaining....I think entertaining in that way where it's funny as long as it's not happening to you.

Anyways, it's time for me to put my fingers to the keyboard again. Not because I think I'm a good at writing, not so that others will know what is going in our lives, not because I like to over share or because I care what others think. But I need to write again because to me....it is therapy. Some people like to run or exercise to relieve stress or  help themselves feel better. I like to write.  It's the best tool I have for expressing myself and it allows me to hold onto memories that would otherwise fade away because let's face it, sometimes we're just too busy to stop and remember.

So  I could write and just keep it to myself, that would be the safe thing to do. No one to judge my decisions, my parenting, my thoughts, or well my writing. But although it can make you feel vulnerable, it can also be very freeing. So here it goes, maybe you'll read sometimes and maybe you won't, maybe you'll think I'm crazy, and maybe every time I write a post you'll skip over it. Or maybe you'll be able to relate to some of my insecurities, our family's struggles, my good & bad decisions in parenting and so forth. But read or don't read.......I've got to get back to my therapy :)